“It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭3:5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I am a Primary School teacher. I have my Bachelor of Education degree that followed 4 years of university. This proves I am a qualified teacher. No school would employ me without it.

As a new Christian attending church, I assumed I would eventually offer my skills by volunteering to help in the kids groups. I am naturally quiet and lacking in confidence, but working with kids I can do. I’d been doing it for over 15 years. It was my comfort zone.

God had other plans.

Have you seen the quote ‘God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called’? It is taken  from 2 Corinthians 3:5. As a new Christian, I hadn’t yet heard it and knew very little of the Bible. God had a big surprise for me that would change my life.

Trust.

I had been attending church for a few months. One night some words just kept going through my head. I felt if I didn’t write them down I would never sleep. I shared them with a friend a few days later and she told me she felt it was a song. I had never written a song in my life! How did this happen?!

Let me explain how unqualified I was!

I had never tried to write a song or even thought I might. My musical qualifications ended at GCSE – grade C I think – nothing outstanding. The only instruments I had ever played was keyboard for a few weeks (to tick a box for my GCSE) and recorder at Primary School (if that even counts!)

I had sung in my school choir until the age of 16, but in the years that followed, I was too shy to sing if anyone else was in the same building as me…

You never know what God has planned.

My friend encouraged me to share my written ‘song’ with my pastor. This felt risky and scary, but I eventually did. My pastor said he would love to hear me sing it, at which point panic took over my body, I felt myself go bright red and mumbled “I don’t sing in front of people”. My pastor calmly smiled and replied “You never know what God has planned”.

I have great respect for my pastor. He is an incredible man of God. More than that, I was totally in love with Jesus and if this was His will, I wanted to be obedient and not waste the gift of the song I had been given.

I had to find the courage somehow to sing the song to my pastor! I practiced singing (initially very quietly) with a friend in the same room as me – although at first I instructed her to face the other way! It was hilarious really, but that’s where I was at. After a few weeks of this, I felt ready to share with my pastor. I had arranged to meet with him to discuss my baptism, so decided to offer to sing it to him after the meeting.

After sharing my song, my pastor said he felt it was “anointed”. I didn’t even know what that meant..! He then asked me if I felt I would like to sing it at my baptism!

What?! I’d barely been able to sing it in front of one person let alone a room full!

Yet, in that moment I absolutely knew it was the right thing to do.

I completely surprised friends and family on my Baptism day by singing a song declaring my love for Jesus. It was probably the most powerful way I could have shared God’s love with all of my beautiful but non-believing friends and family.

This was the start of an incredible journey that I’m still on. My pastor encouraged me to continue to write and recognised I was a worshipper at heart, encouraging me to join the worship team (not the Children & Youth Team!).

My worship team leader began to say he could see me as a worship leader. That was tricky for me – to try to ‘lead’ these incredible and experienced musicians when I felt so unqualified. I was leading by my voice – it was all I had.

Yes, I lacked confidence, but when I told my worship team leader I felt unqualified, he replied “the team know Who has put you up here”. They were the exact words I needed to be told and God knew it.

My passion for songwriting and leading worship comes from the same place – a passion for Jesus and for helping others to connect with Him more deeply. The Lord is continuing to show me that if I trust in Him, anything is possible.

I would never have expected to have been recording and releasing songs I had written.

Homegrown Worship has meant that I have been able to share songs even wider than friends and family. I will never know how the Lord is touching lives through His songs, but He knows and that blesses me so much. I feel so honoured (and somewhat amazed) to realise that I am a songwriter – because God has qualified me.