Not every song has a happy ending...

During my wife’s first pregnancy, she had a miscarriage. We were heartbroken. When we found out she was pregnant again - this time with twins! - we felt that in some way God had restored the child we lost. But not long after, one of the twins’ hearts stopped. We kept praying for a miracle, but the heartbeat never returned. Every check-up was another disappointment.

This song came out of that period of questioning, hoping, and mourning. I still don’t know why we lost two children. There’s no silver lining that erases what happened.

The end of the cosmic story will be good, with God bringing an ending to sad endings for His people. But I’m not there yet. There are tears waiting to be wiped away. I’m learning to trust God and lament at the same time. Some of my songs are still stuck at sad endings.

Matthew Lunders

Singer/Songwriter & Musician