In the chaos of family life and ministry I was lost. The clacking of the dying condenser dryer, the scream of hetty hoover, the relay school run, demands of church ministry, muttering mouths of the masses…they were damaging the radio frequency of my relationship with God. I had no time or was too tired. Surrounded by noise and hustle, my life was a blur.

‘As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God’ says the Psalmist (42:1-3). What a vivid expression of the deep yearning of my heart! ‘When can I go and meet with God?’ the question constantly pounding my conscience. My soul was grieving, my spirit longing for re-connection with my first love.

I thought being busy with ministry was a sign of spirituality and success. Convinced my ‘faithfulness to ministry’ was vital, I burned out. My radio frequency for Jesus-FM was fuzz. I was serving on empty and I had nothing to give accept performance.

Faithfulness is key, but it’s faithfulness ‘to God’ that matters. I was not faithful, I was absent. So I found my spirit parched and in need of life giving water, something that only Jesus could give me. To the woman at the well in John 4:14 he said, ‘…whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst.’ In order for these living waters to become ‘a spring of water’ in me, I needed to draw from the well. The empty bucket of my soul needed filling desperately.

The imagery in the bridge in ‘I long for You’  expressed the refreshing streams of living water saturating my heart, but in reality was more a distant picture of what I earnestly desired at the time. ‘I long for you…oh my soul longs for you’…was the truth of it. The bridge clings tightly to the promise of Jesus, that if I ask, he will fill me. It was time to ask.

Dry seasons are a familiar thing to most of us. My prayer is that this song helps people to express the deepest longings for their saviour and aid them in their honest and intimate ‘return’ to the well of life. May you drink bucket loads and be refreshed. Amen.

Esther Sardar

Singer/Songwriter